Is saying "thank you" seven times overkill?

Many years ago, someone shared with me the idea of saying “thank you” seven times for a single act of kindness or a gift. Seven times sounded excessive, even ridiculous to me, but the concept intrigued me and has always sat in the back of my mind as a guide. I’ve never thanked someone seven times, but I do regularly thank people three or four times, and I find this to be both rewarding and meaningful.

While the number seven is often recognized as lucky or magical across many cultures, the exact number seven isn’t the point. Instead, it’s a memorable guideline that attempts to promote a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation in our everyday interactions, ensuring that the beautiful act of giving thanks doesn’t get lost in our fast-paced world. It’s easy to say “thank you” once and then move on. But what if we were to say thank you for the same act of kindness or gift multiple times?

I find that expressing my thanks more than once allows me to mull over the act of kindness or gift, appreciating it from multiple angles. It reinforces the positive memory and gives the kindness or gift a life beyond its initial reception. The value of a warm, heartfelt “thank you” then goes beyond the momentary response.

Here are some practical ways to do this:

1. The instant “thank you”: This is the immediate response, the raw and quick expression of gratitude, right upon receiving the act of kindness or gift. It's the initial joy of appreciation.

2. The specific “thank you”: As the initial emotion subsides, you appreciate the specifics of the gesture. For instance, you might note how well your friend knows your taste or how much effort they made to choose a gift for you.—“You know me so well that you chose my favorite color! You are so thoughtful!”

3. The precise “thank you”: This is expressed after using or experiencing the gift or act of kindness. It shows your thankfulness for the utility, enjoyment or help it provided.—“I just wore that perfume you gave me today, and I received so many compliments. I love it!”

4. The reminiscent “thank you”: Think back to when you received the kindness or gift and how much it meant to you. Express your thankfulness again, remembering the joy it brought.—“Hey, my friend. I was just walking by the restaurant you took me to for my birthday dinner last month, and wanted to thank you again for such a delicious treat. I had such a great time with you.”

5. The shared “thank you”: Use this when the act of kindness or gift impacts others around you as well. For instance, consider passing on a book that was gifted to you to someone else to enjoy after you’ve read it, or re-gift a puzzle that you’ve completed, and let the giver know. It rekindles the gratitude you initially felt.—“I absolutely loved that puzzle you gifted me. After I finished it, I passed it on to my mom. So your gift is one that keeps on giving. Thank you, again!”

6. The proactive “thank you”: These are tangible actions based on the kindness or gift. Perhaps you gift something in return, such as flowers, with a “thank you” note attached. Or you might perform an act of kindness for someone else, inspired by the original act, and let the giver know.—“It meant so much to me when you babysat so that I could enjoy a peaceful dinner out with my husband. It was so special that it prompted me to do the same for our friend Lisa, and it made her so happy to have a few hours out of the house and away from the kids. Thank you, again, for your kindness.”

7. The enduring “thank you”: This type of thankfulness is expressed much later, reconfirming the value and impact of that single act of kindness or gift. You show how it wasn’t only appreciated in the moment, but continues to provide happiness. Sometimes I like to do this by taking a photo of the item that I was gifted and sending it to the person with a text. For example, a photo of a lit candle: “Still loving this candle you gave me! It continues to smell heavenly!” Or a selfie of me wearing a dress: “I love this dress you gave me! Every time I wear it, I think of you!”

I hope you have fun trying some of these ideas next time you're at the receiving end of kindness or a thoughtful gift.

If you try it and love it, post your comments below or snap a picture and share it with me on Instagram @wrappedinmeaning and by using the hashtag #WrappedInMeaning.